Graffiti Animation

My good pal Amalie in copenhagen had this on her blog and I had to share it! It's truly amazing.


MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

Sperm Jokes.

Why is urine yellow and sperm white? So men can tell if they are coming or going.

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What does a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.
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Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask directions.

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Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask directions. ********************************************** What's white and sticky and found on the bathroom wall? George Michael's latest release.

Cows with Guns.

This may be a bit outdated but I don't care it's frick'n hilarious!!! Enjoy :>

Fat, Lazy America.

Texting your way to love!

Store Wars!

Liquor IS quicker.

I hate dating. All the relationships I have ever had have just happened. They liked me, I liked them and then we were just together. But lately I have been trying to get out there and meet people and I have discovered several things about myself.

1.I am bad at dating. I just don't know how it works. I don't know what the rules are.

2. It's nerve racking. Ultimately, you're there to judge and be judged. And when I get nervous I need a release, which brings me to...

3.I drink too much on the first date. I am nervous, damn it! Which I have discovered is not the best way to go cuz I usually end up saying things I wouldn't normally say but at the time seemed quite reasonable.

All of my friends say "it will happen when you least expect it" and "you just got to get out there"but honestly, I really don't think I will meet the one for me through online dating or set-ups or whatever. But I am a doer damn it. I hate just waiting around for something to happen so I force myself to "get out there". Which is supposed to be good for you but feels akin to medieval torture. I am, however starting to learn some helpful hints when it comes to online dating.

1.Do not get very friendly online before you meet them. If you become friends online and then you meet in person and it doesn't work out, it kind of sucks. Because you start to like that person as a friend and then suddenly they are just gone. I know it seems silly but there are definitely people I wish I had never met in person just because I found them so interesting online.

2.Don't drink too much on the first date. This one would seem obvious but if things aren't going well it's easy to start slamming drinks. But a certain amount of self control is needed to maintain ones dignity. Trust me.

3.This kind of pertains to #2 since as one drinks one starts to let some of those inhibitions loose and one maybe inclined to go a little further than intended on the first date. In other words, let's keep it clean out there.

Oh I'm sure there are a lot of rules I haven't written here, let's face it people write books on the subject. I truly feel out of touch with American dating rituals anyway since my last two relationships were with Europeans. And don't even get me started on how I try explaining our dating rituals to my European friends. In Scandinavia there is no dating, you just meet through friends or family members or occasionally in a nightclub. Then you go home, sleep together and if you both wake up in the morning and find each other tolerable, viola! your a couple. Of course liquor helps immensely with this. Hmmm...drinking too much? Perhaps I am in the wrong country??

How a woman's mind works.

My friend forwarded this to me. Apparently this is how a woman's mind works. It came with this description:

Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.

A man, of course, has only 2 balls and they take up all his thoughts.

Well obviously. Thanks Gail!

Forward this to everyone you hate.

I love my mother, she's a wonderful woman. But I am convinced the only reason my mom learned to use the Internet is so she can forward the dumb shit everyone else forwards to her. I don't care if I die at midnight, I refuse to forward your email. I am tired of the cutesy pictures of kitties being silly or warnings of cell phone explosions. I am convinced the only people who forward these stupid things are the ones who are too lazy to actually write an email they have written (sorry mom). And by forwarding you junk they somehow feel like that constitutes keeping in touch. Like most people I have several email accounts and my my mother, god love her, makes sure to forward the spam emails to every single one of them just to make sure I get it. Grrrrrrrrrrrr....

My poop don't stink.

I love animals. No I am not a vegetarian. I tried it, by the end of week two without meat I was ready to slaughter a baby pig for a piece of bacon. But I digress. What I really want to discuss here is the humiliation of small dogs throughout the metropolitan area. I'm looking at you, chihuahua owner. I understand if your pup needs a little sweater to keep him warm in the harsh winter weather, no problem. But I ask you does a dog need a pink quilted coat with a furry hood? C'mon! Do you really think the pup is going to be at the dog park with her girlfriends saying, "OOOh mommy it's cold out here I better bundle up. Where my hoodie at?" And for the love of all that is holy, dogs don't wear shoes! They just don't. That is why your pooch is walking like he just stepped in his own poop. Dog owners are out of control and I think we have that dim rod Paris Hilton to thank for it. Once that bitch started slapping tiaras on her pup, every dim bulb in America thought. "OMG that is soooo cute where can I buy one?" Enough already! Leave the poor dogs alone!!

Take a bath hippy!

I am sensitive to smells. Unfortunately I live in New york City, one of the smelliest places on the planet. OK I am sure there are other parts of the world that are smellier but NYC can hold its own in the stank department. Usually it's possible to move away from the offending odor to a less foul environment with one exception; the subway car. Once your in, your in baby there is no way out till the next stop. With such close quarters, why oh why don't people practice just the basics in personal hygiene? I know hippy, stoner kids think patchouli will mask whatever they were smoking ten minutes ago but it doesn't. The only thing it does is add to the stench that is your body odor. And for crying out loud brush your teeth in the morning! There is nothing worse than getting into a subway car and realizing just seconds before the doors close that someone on that train is owner to the most raunchiest case of morning breath imaginable. OK I know what your thinking, homeless people smell pretty bad so why aren't you picking on them? Because, homeless people are poor, they don't have money to eat let alone buy toothpaste and most homeless are mentally ill so they deserve a break. But if you have money for weed you have money for soap so buy a bar and use it!

Word to your...

Check out this website, Word to Your... it's super frickin funny.

Mantis Mansions.

I am constantly browsing the web for bizarre websites. I am a member of Stumble Upon, a social bookmarking site. The best thing about this application is you can download a toolbar that will "stumble" through websites you are interested in. I think this is great because my interests change weekly. For instance this week my interests are listed as: bizarre/oddities (of course), camping (I am an outdoorsy type, home brewing (I don't even like beer), exotic pets (I want to see what they mean when they say exotic), homemaking (because I haven't completely given up hope that someday, someone might want to marry me), and survivalist (cuz if shit goes down I want to be prepared but also cuz I enjoy the freak show that are survivalists). Today I discovered a site called Mantis Place, "where Mantis and bug supplies hang out". A website, I guess, for all your Mantis pet needs. I am amazed on how high maintenance a mantis is. They have Mantis Mansions, feeder insects (lesser unimportant insects) to feed your mantis and a mantis nursery just to name a few. Fuck these mantises ( or is it mantis' eh who cares nobody reads this blog anyway) live better than I do. Praying mantis have always freaked me out. No, I am not afraid of bugs I just don't like freaky lookin "stand on your hind legs like you want to tell me something" bugs. If you are a mantis lover and I have offended you well, piss off! You're a freak for owning, caring, breeding such a disgusting little insect. It's just creepy.

Cats that look like Hitler.

I have kind of a weird sense of humor and I know this next post is not really p.c. but I had to share this website I found a couple months ago. It's called Cats That Look Like Hitler. When I first saw it I thought two things: 1.I can't believe someone thought of this and 2. I can't believe somebody didn't think of this before! The "Kitlers" as they are called, can be voted for on the website. I am not sure what a kitler recieves if they win, possibly a small nation but aren't they cute? The one you see here is the #1 Kitler on the site. He is listed as an unknown Kitler which leads me to believe he may be holed up in a bunker somewhere planning his next move.

Spank Bank

I love the Urban Dictionary. Sometimes I just browse through it to see what the kids out there are saying. And maybe I am a little naive or just born a female but I had never heard of the term Spank Bank.

Spank bank
1. A memorable collection of mental images that one wishes to
retain for master debational purposes.2. Porn collection

Actually, I don't have a spank bank but now that I know there is a name for it, I'm thinking of making some deposits. First, I would put a big poster of David Beckham in my bank. Only him, not that snotty bitch he's married too. Looking at her just makes me want to eat a sandwich and beat up English people. But David is pretty, not a girlish pretty but a manly pretty. David Beckham is good at two things: looking fine like wine and playing football. That's all David Beckham should do, just those two things. One thing he should never ever do is speak. His voice is akin to limp handshake. Excuse all this talk about David Beckham makes me want to rub the felt. (look it up)

I'm breathing here!

I am not opposed to smoking. I, myself do not smoke but if you want to smoke by all means puff away. I used to be all militant about smoking. You know that annoying douche bag that makes snide remarks under their breathe, "I'm trying to breathe here" or the subtle coughing fit when walking by a smoker. But I don't' do that anymore. Since smoking has been banned in most public places, I don't have too much to bitch about. And I have to admit, even I feel a bit sorry for those poor suckers out there puffing away in sub-zero weather. So puff away smokers! (Just not anywhere near me)

Top Five Lamest Excuses for not Voting~!

I had heard so many excuses for not voting in the primary election being held in New York.

TOP FIVE LAMEST EXCUSES FOR NOT VOTING:
5. I am not registered. Your not registered? Your mother didn't register for you? You mean, you actually didn't know that as an American it is your civic duty to register to vote? People all over the world die fighting for the right to vote but filling out the online form required to register is to taxing for you?
4. I don't know where my polling place is. The government actaully makes it easy for you to find your polling place. Go to: http://www.vote.nyc.ny.us/pollingplaces.html
3. I don't know anything about the candidates so I don't want to just vote for something I don't know about. What? So it's better to not vote at all? It takes just a few minutes to google a short synapsis of where the candidates stand on the issues. Oh, but then that would take time out of your google search for the viral video of the sneezing panda.
2.I will wait until there are just two candidates, I will voteduring the presidential election when it matters. Now this really pisses me off. These people want the rest of us to make the decisions for them. These are the people, when you go out to eat always say; "I don't care where we eat just as long as they have an organic vegetarian kosher menu, so you just pick the place." Grrr...I hate that. But that's another blog. Voting during the presidential election is easy, there are just two fuckin candidates! Well, unless your going to throw away your vote on an independent. It's the primaries that decide who the candidates are going to be. So by not voting on them your saying, "I'll have what she's having."
1. I dont' vote. If you don't vote, your a lazy douchebag. Plain and simple. Listen, you live in this country. This is the country you choose to live in right? You like it here? You want to stay? THEN FUCKING VOTE! Because when things get bad and you don't have the things in your life or community that make you happy, you have no one to blame but yourself. But these are always the idiots that complain the most when shit hits the fan. Wish we hadn't gone to Iraq? Maybe you should have voted in the last election. Pissed off that our dollar will soon be on par with the peso? Maybe you should have voted in the last election. I'm sorry am I repeating myself?
Voting is important! People all over the world know more about what is going on in this country then the average American does and you know what? That's really sad. On a recent trip to Denmark, I was really amazed at how much they knew about our politics and what was going on in our country. And you know what my friends said when I told them of my surprise? They said the reason they know so much is because what America does, doesn't just effect America, it effects their country too. We have major influence on how other countries do business, make laws, live their lives. And thats not just in Europe but all over the world. So we are just voting to make our nation a better place. So for fuck sake, take a few minutes out of your day and please vote. Don't be a douchebag.